Resources I Love: F**k It

Cover of F**k It, by John C. Parkin
Cover of F**k It, by John C. Parkin

One of the books I recommend and share very often to my clients is f**k it: the ultimate spiritual way by John C.Parkin.  From it’s cheeky title to its customized quigong exercises in the back of the book, this book keeps you laughing, even as it shares for very heavy, and sometimes very challenging ideas.

Ultimately, this is a book about perspectiveIt challenges you to ask yourself if the things that are making you stressed out, angry, depressed, anxious, or frustrated are really worthy your time and energy.  Often we get ourselves so wrapped up in the little things going on in our lives, we forget that a lot of the things we are stressing over are not important.  At the end of the night, its only the people who really care about you that will hold you at night and care for you when you’re sick.  It’s only the adventures and risks that you take that will make your life seem full in retrograde, and it is only your health that allows you to have a rich and full life.

All that other stuff in your life is less important.  When it comes to the things that are draining you, it pays to stop and see just how bad it is – if it is taking time from your loved ones, keeping you form having adventures, or stressing you out until you are sick, you need to ask how important and how critical it really is… and for that matter if you feel stuck doing something that makes you sick, you need to reexamine your life, to figure out how you got stuck.

f**k it gives you tools for learning how to disengage.  How to take a step back and really get perspective on things in your life, so that you can make changes that will make you happier and healthier.  It also gives you tools to help you let go of things things that are just wasting your time and energy.  It encourages you to relax and just soak in life every once in awhile so that you remember what is important… and if you have forgotten how to do that if offers some pointers.

I bought f**k it just as I started my coaching business, because I needed perspective.  I had never run such a complicated business with so many moving parts before.  I found myself stressing over things like the minutiae of my website, the way my business plan was laid out, and a thousand little insecurities when it came to figuring out how I was going to get out and meet people.  I was working 90-hour weeks, and starting to make myself sick.

I realized that I needed to have some help setting my business priorities and letting go of some of the little things going on.  I decided to take a day, and go browsing in Chapters’ self-help and business sections.  f**k it was the second book I picked up, and had me laughing in seconds – at myself. I bought it on the spot, and read it cover-to-cover in the Starbucks attached to the bookstore, with several breaks to make notes.

By the end of reading it, I was breathing easier, and feeling saner.  I realized that my need to make this business perfect was making me get obsessed over stuff that just wasn’t important.  Who cared if my weblog was updated perfectly on time every day?  Who cared if the artwork on my old site wasn’t just so?  Only me, and the cost of caring was sleep and sanity.

The next week I worked reasonable hours, and I got a lot more done.

I recommend this book to people who are stressed out, overwhelmed, overextended, and trying too damn hard at work while not spending enough time with family or doing the things they love. It is easy to read, but a challenge to apply;  be sure to get someone else to read it, too and help you figure out how to use it.