Helping men build healthy relationships has been a staple of my business for the last five years. I love working on partnerships, gay or straight, because they let me build not just a single strong and happy man, but a happy couple, and often, a happy family.
The real trick to having a good relationship is about being the best person that you can be. The more you make sure you are in prime condition the more your partner responds by doing the same. The more you assert yourself in a relationship, the more your partner negotiates with you, and the more you both end up happy.
One book that gives you an amazing crash course in being the strongest man that you can be in a relationship is Hold on to Your N.U.T.S.: The Relationship Manual for Men (Amazon link) by fellow Men’s coach Wayne Levine. It is one of my top three go-to resources when helping men build better relationships.
Hold on to Your N.U.T.S. teaches you a simple tool that makes everything in a relationship simpler: know what is really important to you, then stop sweating everything else.
It seems simple, but its outcomes are amazing. Knowing what is not negotiable to you and what is makes getting along with your partner so much easier. Is there a conflict between you and your wife? Check in with yourself and ask “is she asking me to compromise one of my non-negotiables?” If not, then why the hell would you bother arguing? If your relationship isn;t as loving, fun, or sexual as you demand that it must be, then ask yourself “what have I done to make sure my relationship lives up to my non-negotiables lately?” You’ll usually think of several things that you could be doing.
Hold on to Your N.U.T.S. is a crash-course in setting priorities, establishing goals, Assertiveness, and self-reflection. It is far from a complete system, but it is a hell of a start. If you are dealing with a lot of conflict in your relationship, or if you are disappointed in how it is currently shaping up, Hold on to Your N.U.T.S. is an excellent place to start looking for answers.