Fare Thee Well, MMSL

"Anticipation, Optimism, Coastline" by Unsplash
“Anticipation, Optimism, Coastline” by Unsplash

Hello, readers, it has been quite awhile!

Lots of changes have happened in my world as of late. My Son is one over one year old, he is happy, healthy, dangerously clever, and completely wild. He keeps me busy every day. I am happier and healthier these days than I ever was before. I run another small business helping people with legal troubles get affordable access to lawyers, and I am working on a third business flying UAVs (“Drones”), which has become a bit of an obsession.

And the world has moved on a bit as well. The Manosphere has undergone shifts, contortions, schisms, and unifications… and I am not quite sure what to make of it anymore. It is not the community of nerdy guys looking to understand how to be their best selves that it was when I first got interested in 2009. The most staggering change for me has been the closure of the Married Man Sex Life Forum on December 27th. For about three years I was a moderator and admin, and one of the biggest contributors to that forum, as well as a member of the MMSL coaching staff. Athol Kay and I parted ways in early 2015, and I decided to make as clean a break as I could from that community, given how many friends and very good clients that I’d met there; in fact, I had so many other events, both good and bad in my life at that time, that I decided to take a break from online communities and social media in general.

The MMSL forum was a lifeline for a lot of marriages, but it was also extremely hard to run. I am honestly surprised that Athol Kay kept it rolling as long as he did. It is a tribute to his intensity as a person (and Jen Kay’s unbelievable admin skills!) It leaves a big void behind.

After leaving the forum, I missed it. Being able to help families stay together every day gave me a deep sense of meaning. My coaching has taken a different turn over the last year and a half. I have some new ideas, and have abandoned some old ones; I work with individuals more and couples less. Now that MMSL is gone, however, there has been a persistent inner voice telling me that I need to step up and help a new community fill that void. When Max Lorenz contacted me and asked me to participate on his forum Husband Power, it was too much of a synchronicity to ignore.

If you are an MMSL castaway in need of a new place to talk, Max aims to provide it. I hope I can help him make it a positive, productive place for people looking to supercharge their marriages.

4 thoughts on “Fare Thee Well, MMSL

  1. Hiya Brian! As you know I was never as convinced of the value of the MMSL forum as you. I thought there were some pearls to be had on there, but the pearls were buried in some huge manure piles (politely speaking).

    1. Oh, the manure piles were certainly there! Honestly, the forum went through different stages with vastly different value, style of user participation, etc. Generally speaking there was a high water mark in late 2014 where it was at its most helpful, open, an welcoming… Then certain parties decided that they wanted to make trouble and the environment went toxic fast. By the time we permabanned them, smoothed over ruffled feathers, etc., the culture of the forum changed. This became a pattern over time. We would start to get the forum back where we wanted it, and without fail, toxic bullshit would arise and damage the community and culture just as it was becoming positive and effective again.

  2. Brian, most of the regular members of the forum have moved onto our own private forum, about 80+ of us. You are welcome to join there anytime you would like.

Comments are closed.